It’s very easy to get into a routine with almost every habit we have in life and just one of those can be to do with your sex life, (or lack of it.) When this happens it’s sometimes known as having a dead bedroom. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you no longer find each other sexually attractive; it can be something as simple as habit and tiredness which stops you from feeling sexy with each other anymore. But of course none of us wants a dead bedroom relationship; we all want to think that our partner will stay with us regardless of lack of sex, but all must face the reality that affairs do happen and are more likely if there is no sex at home.
Very often tiredness and stress can be the main culprits of a dead bedroom. When you’re worrying about paying the bills or sending the kids off to camp or whatever it is that they want this time, then it’s all too easy to neglect an extremely important part of your partnership and that’s the sexual element. There is an old saying that you should “use it or lose it” and this can be very true when it comes to having sex. The less you have sex, the more you forget about it and before you know it a night creeps into a week, and then a month and then a year. It happens, but it doesn’t mean that you will both be happy about that.
The only way to avoid this is to make yourself make the effort to have sex even if you don’t feel particularly sexy at that time. Very often you will find that once you get started, that you’ll be okay, it’s just making that initial effort to get started. And if you have a particularly understanding partner, you might even find that they enable you not to have sex by not making an issue out of it. Sometimes a good argument might be necessary to clear the air and to get things “moving” again. Make-up sex always ends up being frenetic and emotionally charged and may help you to remember the things that you found irresistible about your partner in the first place.
Another way to avoid having a dead bedroom is to make a date night every week. I know this can sound clichéd but it really can work. A lot of us get in from work, change into something comfortable and then spend the evening watching TV with our feet up. Try to get into the habit of remembering the effort you used to make when you were dating and would shower, change and put on make-up and your best clothes to impress your partner. Even if money is tight and you cannot afford to go out, you can still have a date night at home. It’s making the effort that’s important even if you are going to stay in anyway. You can turn the TV off, make a nice meal, and enjoy it by candlelight. The chances are that the evening could end up with sex and all because you made the effort to re-connect with your partner.
We also find that adding some new adult toys to your stash helps spice things up in the bedroom. Try out a new vibrator, some bondage restraints, or some sexy lingerie. If you need any suggestions, feel free to contact us and we would love to help you find the perfect sex toy.
Just remember that a dead bedroom relationship may end up with you having a dead relationship and so it really is worth making the extra effort.