My cart


Breaking the Ice at a Swingers Club

Okay, so you have sat down with your partner and spoken about bringing some more fun and excitement into your sex life. You may have decided on visiting a swingers club to see what goes on in these places, but understandably you are a little nervous about it. What kind of people will be there? Will they be dressed, or walking around naked? Will they be weirdos, or normal every day kinda people, just like you and your man?

First things first, people who visit swingers clubs are entirely normal people who probably work hard all week and are looking to kick back and let their hair down at the weekend. There is nothing strange about them and nothing to be scared of. Just remember, that at one time they would have been the same as you and probably wondered how they would break the ice as strangers at a swingers club.

Before you actually visit a swingers club for the first time, I would recommend that you sit down and have a full and frank discussion with your partner about what each of your boundaries are. For example, are you happy just to watch other people get it on, or do you want to join in? It is crucial to have this discussion because the whole point of going to a swingers club is that you are open and honest with each other and that nothing is being done in secret.

Far too many relationships break down when one or other of the people have an affair in secret. By going to a swingers club, both of you will be aware of what your partner is doing; there is no need for lying and secrecy. It’s almost as if you have given each other permission to have sex with no strings with someone else. A huge number of people have discovered that they can actually save their relationship by being this honest and truthful. Because when someone has an affair, very often it’s not the thought of the sex which hurts you; it’s the lying and deceit. Remove that, and you have honesty, and some incredible opportunities to have an amazing sex life, and still go home with the person that you love.

So, you know what your boundaries are and you are all set to visit a swingers club for the first time. There are just a couple of rules you need to take into account and the evening should go well for all concerned. When you first get into the club, treat it as any other place you would go for a drink. So don’t invade anyone else’s personal space unless you are invited to; smile, say ‘Hi,’ and find somewhere to sit where you have a good view of what’s going on.

Watch for a while and see what other people do. If you find a likely-looking couple, ask if it’s okay to sit with them. Introduce yourselves, (you don’t have to give your real name if you don’t want to) and get chatting as you would at any other club. Tell them you are new to this scene and ask their advice. Very often you will find that they will be more than pleased to help you to get to know what’s what.

Most of all enjoy your foray into the swinger’s world by making sure that, if you do have sex, it’s always safe sex!

Read our other articles about the Swing Lifestyle.